Here’s the book and some quotes. The sequel is coming out March 27, 2138 according to the book.
”Be my foot.”
”….except that. No. No way. No how. No sir.”
”Why not may I ask?” asked the king.
”Well summer is coming.”
”An unacceptable answer. Next excuse.”
”Um…okay, I’m not worthy to fill the Functionary’s pants.”
”You are. You da man. You’re so money, and you don’t even know it. Next excuse.”
”Okay how about summer is coming?”
”Still unacceptable. Next excuse.”
”How about all the foots seem to die a whole bunch, and I have a family to concider.”
Bobbert shook his head as if it were a ball bounching in a field on a muddy day. ”Tough patooties. You’re my new foot. Pack up your crap. Were outta here.”
”But…but….but…what Headcase out with it.”
”Summer is coming.”
Sansa: Sasha continued, ”So I’m like, going for a wall yesterday, and Goof comes up to me and was all like, ’Hi’ and I was like, ’Hi’ and he was all like, ’You look lovely today,’ and I was all like, ’I know,’ and I could totally tell he was trying to look down my shirt, so I was all like, ’Are you checking out my boobs,’ and he was like ’No way’ then he totally ran away. As if?”
”Nobody has ever used the word genius and Sasha is the same sentance. My sister is dumber than dirt. The ditz gets by on her looks.” Then, whispering, she continued, ”Kind of like her mother.”
Juan Nieve: ”Because Goof is a quejumbrosa poco perra, and if he loses to a Barker, he’ll whine to his father, and if he whines to his father, his father will whine to Lord Barker, and if the King whines to Lord Barker will whine at Bobb, and the cycle of whining will never end, all because Goof is a quejumbrosa poco perra.”
Ned: ”…But if I didn’t make decisions based on a rigid, unbending adherance to a moral code that no one else bothers to follow and that only seems to harm my family while leaving the obvious villains unscathed, then I wouldn’t be Headcase Barker. I just hope this unrealistic obsession with moral rectitude doesn’t come down on my head like an executioner’s sword sometime in the future.”
”and as Vladymyr of the House Targetpractice, the Zillionth of His Name, King of the Sandals and the Ryebread, Lord of the Who-the-Heck-Knows-How-Many Kingdoms and Protector of the Elves, my interpretation is the only interpretation.” Patting his stringy blond mane, he added, ”Beside, look at my hair. That’s royal hair if I’ve ever seen it.”
There is a lot that is really funny. The only problem I have is so far Theon isn’t in it at all. For some reson Varys and Littlefinger are the same person….but yeah. Tyrion is a giant, and the Wall is kinda like a frat house. It’s weird, but some of the stuff makes me laugh.