Oftentimes, I think back to that fateful night when I began to see the truth, but I still shut it out like a cruel raven trying to steal my lemon cakes. It is a foolish notion, but one that I hold dearly. My head has been lost in fancies and beauty. I have believed a lie for such a long time, but why? I thought it was love, but it never was. Yet, I held onto it for dear life. I suppose it made me feel giddy and stunning. It answered all the strange questions in the world and made me feel peace. It made me truly feel like the Queen of the world. I have always strived to see the best in people. I have always believed the romantic notions, but my expectations were not met in anyway sense of the word. I must explain this cruel mishap that happened. It seems like forever ago, but something I remember completely. It was the night that I lost my sweet Lady.
As the fates would have it, the men in my family had found orphaned direwolf pups. The direwolf is the insignia of my house, the House Stark. There were enough for us all, even my half-brother (and bastard) Jon Snow. There were two females and there were two girls in my family, myself and my sister, Arya. How happy I was when that sweet and darling pup came into my life. I called her Lady and she truly lived up to her name. She knew how important being lady-like was for me and she followed my lead. She would not even hurt a fly. She was elegant and beautiful. She was the only companion that I completely confided in and shared my secrets. She would tell no one and I feel we had an everlasting bond. I did love her and I still do.
Anyways, we were on our way to King’s Landing. I must admit that I was so excited. I would be spending more time at the castle with my “beloved” prince and his “charming” family. I was a little uncomfortable when the gentlemen approached me to talk. The Hound does frighten me at times, but my sweet Prince came to my aid. He bid me to walk with him. At that time, I felt like he was knight, my ever-lasting love, my true King. I could not think less of him. I was a foolish girl. We walked and laughed for a little bit. It was simple and most lovely. He took me down to the river. I could hear something banging together. My Prince told me not to worry and he would protect me. When we came closer, I noticed it was my sister and a red-haired boy. He was the butcher’s son. The two of them had no swords at all and I was absolutely horrified. Arya always acted like a boy, but this was too much. I screamed at her and Joffrey seemed amused at this prospect. He mocked Micah. He found it quite amusing that a butcher’s boy wanted to be a knight. He ordered him to pick up his sword which was nothing, but a stick. Joffrey questioned him as to why he was striking “his lady’s sister.” Poor pitiful Micah was practically crying and saying my sister had asked him to. I felt fearful when Joffrey took out his sword and started to cut the boy’s face. I yelled at my sister to stay out of it, but she couldn’t. I was nervous, but stayed as still as possible. What happened next was a blur. I can barely remember it all. Joffrey called my sister unspeakable things and they tried to fight. I wanted them both to stop. I begged and pleaded with them. It was awful. I did not want my Prince to hurt my sister, but at that time, I thought she was being so stupid. She should have been like me and stayed out of it. When her she-wolf devil attacked him, I was absolutely horrified. She bit him and we all started screaming again. Arya managed to pull that wolf off of him and then threatened him with his own sword. I was at a loss for words. Everything was spoiled now. She was ruining everything. She said nothing and threw the sword in the water. Tears started to stream my face as I ran to my prince’s side. Arya and her wolf-devil ran away. I tried to console him and told him that I would get help. He was harsh with me then. He told me to go and to not touch him. I was shocked and hurt. I was only trying to help. His hand was bleeding a great deal where Nymeria had bit him. I should have known something was not right. He could be so cruel.
I started to see more that evening. I was mute, dumb, and blind girl. I could not stand this family that I was to wed into be cross with me. I couldn’t find myself to stand with my sister. Perhaps, I was just as cruel. The Queen Cersei can be so formidable. She frightens me. The King was going to let everything go, unpunished. The Queen pressed for the punishment of the wolf. Arya boldly stated that her direwolf had ran. The Queen would not let him. She mentioned that we had another direwolf. I was in shock. Could she have meant my sweet Lady? I realized she did and I begged and pleaded. I looked desperately at Joffrey for his help, his support. He stared cruelly through me and it broke my heart. Even my own sister, who I had betrayed, stood up for my Lady. Father volunteered for the position to do the deed. I was so angry. That night, I cried mercilessly. It was horrendous. I would never have my sweet Lady again. How could my “love” allow this to happen? How could my family be so torn apart? I remember that evening fearfully. I was unkind, but he was the cruelest. Now, I must only sit and smile. I must be like a puppet and he controls my strings. I must be pleasant always, while my body is crying with pain inside. I must be nothing but a doll. A beautiful, mute, and blind doll. I must always do his bidding. I am forced to this gilded cage, like a captured songbird. I suppose it is my own fault, but one day I shall be free of him. I vow it. I shall be free from this cruelty. Then like a sweet bird, I shall take flight once more.