The days are always so short in Winterfell. I am constantly catching chills and I need to bundle myself in furs. We have not been here that long, but honestly, it feels like we have been thrown into a freezing seven hells. I despise every bit of it. The only comfort is found in my brother, Jaime and my children. They are the only thing that keeps me going right now. My husband is absent in person and in emotion. I used to care, but I have become numb to the pain. It does not exist for me and I have my thoughts on different things. These seventeen years have not been awful, but they not been wonderful either. You must always maintain your status and look of a Queen not matter what trials face you.
The Starkys have to be the best hosts and I cannot fault them for that. This place is a pit of sadness and despair. I feel like I am aging every second. I look to my children and they seems to be having a good time except Joff. He is so much like me and I love him for that. He needs to hold is tongue a bit though. He is headstrong and acts on impulse. I am trying to council him. He needs to desire the love of his people and gain their trust, but then act in any way he chooses. He cannot be rash, but make carefully thought-out decisions. He will be a good and strong King. I know this to be true.
I suppose this journey has not been failure. Robert got what he wanted. He asked Nedd to the King’s Hand. I do not know why he picked the self-righteous Starky. I cannot see eye-to-eye with him and I cannot forgive him for having a beautiful sister that Robert still loves! She has been in her grave for years! Enough of that. I shall not speak of it anymore….as least not right now. This King’s Hand business has been a failure in my eyes. My brother should have been named it. That is what was supposed to happen, but it did not. We must plan something different. The part of the trip that was not such a failure was the engagement between my handsome son, Joff and the Lady Sansa. Whilst she is a Starky, she should be a lady of King’s Landing. She is beautiful and bright. She does not belong here. I have wondrous plans for her. She strikes me as a lovely child who should always be near summer. It will be better for her in King’s Landing. I shall groom her to be the perfect Queen for my Joff. They will have such handsome children. It will be most wonderful.
The time is growing near. We shall be returning soon. I thank the gods for this. It is about time. I shall ready myself and look forward to the journey home.